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  With all the loot I got while grinding, I was able to afford that Fireman’s Jacket and a few pieces of simple leather armor that raised my physical defense. Once I was able to hit my opponents 4 out of 5 times, I decided I was ready to try to beat the boss again.

  I made my way to the third floor of the castle without taking much damage and prepared myself for the boss mentally. I bought some small health potions just for the occasion. However, each potion took up a single space in my inventory, so I was only able to bring two health potions. I went over the plan in my head once more. I nodded and reminded myself that the worst that could happen is that I died again and I lost some XP. Well, that and the pain of being burned to death.

  I stepped through the door to the boss’s room and heard it close behind me. That was it—no turning back. I have to sit through King Kanon’s speech again. I tried attacking him while he was talking, but the attack didn’t do any damage. Instead, as he spoke I walked across to the other side of the room at the maximum range of my hammer throw. When the boss finished his speech, he began attacking with his fireballs. I used Roll to dodge the fireballs and Hammer Time to toss hammers at him. Each time I used the ability, a new hammer was automatically taken out of my inventory, placed in my right hand and thrown at the target I’d focused on. I found that attacking the spiked shell did less damage than attacking the boss’s head. However, it was a surer hit, since the head weaved back and forth making it a moving target. I take a few fireballs, but between the fireman’s jacket and the health potions, I was able to stay alive long enough to whittle down the boss’s health. When the last hammer was thrown, and the last sliver of health disappeared, King Kanon looked at the caged princess and croaked out, “Remember that I love you,” then died.

  I quickly used Inspect on him and see he had two abilities: Fireball and Shell Defense. I had to decide whether or not to use Absorb to try and get one of those abilities but before I could make up my mind, my time ran out and the body disappeared leaving a small bag of loot. The bag of loot had three items: A large green gem, an empty spiked turtle shell, and a large golden key tagged as a quest item. I transferred the items to my inventory.

  When I approached the purple haired princess in her purple ballroom gown, she started to thank me for my bravery in fighting the evil King Kanon. Even though he kidnapped her, she still spoke of the boss with a modicum of respect. When I touched the golden cage, a blue screen appeared.

  Would you like to free Princess Plum from captivity?

  I carefully considered my next move. Yes, I could free the princess and complete the quest I got from the old man, but that would also complete the dungeon and make it disappear. At least that’s what it said in The Idiot’s Guide to the System, Vol. 1. Yeah, the experience points and credits from the quest reward would be useful, but I didn’t know when or if I’d be able to find another dungeon. Even if I did find another one, who said it would be at my level? Alternatively, I could just leave the room and use the dungeon as my personal experience point mine. I thought about why I was doing it, and the answer was simple.

  I said “No,” and walked away. The princess just stared at me open mouthed, not believing that I hadn’t freed her. She lost her cool as I walked out of the room and said some very un-princess-like things to my back.

  The next three weeks are spent grinding for experience points and credits. With the Hammer Time ability, none of the monsters in the dungeon are a big challenge at first. It takes a full day for the boss to respawn and I decided that the loot rewards just aren’t good enough to justify the loss of a chance to absorb its abilities. Each day I would pop into the dungeon, kill the boss, and Absorb his remains after beating him. The experience points were always a plus, but for some reason, I just didn’t get the abilities the boss had. I did get every other ability that the other monsters in the dungeon had. Thanks to my Analysis skill, I figured out that if I fought a monster at a lower level than me, it only took about ten absorbs to get an ability. If they were the same level as me, then it took about 20 absorbs. Unfortunately, I seemed to have a much lower chance of absorbing the abilities of a monster that had a higher level or a boss.

  Over the course of those three weeks, I also noticed that the monsters in the dungeon started to change as the red fog around the castle spread out. I hadn’t noticed it at first, but the red fog spread through the plains and then the forest. Whenever I found a monster in this red fog, it seemed to get stronger and harder to kill. The Blue Blobs turned into Red Blobs and took twice as long to kill. The Goombies transformed into Spiked Goombies, and had spikes on their shoes that did additional damage when they kicked me. The Goblins all turned red and got better weapons that did more damage. Short swords replaced clubs; crude bows became longbows with much better range and damage. The spear wielders got armor, and I had to knock off their helmets first before I could kill them with the hammers. The hammer throwers grew spikes on their shells and could shoot them out when I get close. The boss even got tougher. He didn’t get any new abilities but his health pool grew and the damage his fireballs did also increased.

  Thankfully, this increased challenge also increased the quality of loot the monsters drop. Unfortunately, I couldn’t sell any of it at my level 1 System Store. I even claimed a full set of studded leather armor and some swords with increased durability, but it ended up in the collection of gear at my home base. I was able to sell off simple gems and monster parts, but the good gear just piled up in my room.

  At the end of the fourth week of exploiting the dungeon, I’d just reached level 6 and had realized that I stopped getting any experience points from a monster that’s more than five levels below me. It’s also at this point that I experienced my first death since I got the Hammer Time ability. I wasn’t even killed by the boss this time, but by a group of Goblins that were better armed and had more hit points than me.

  ****

  So here I sit, respawned, trying to figure out what to do next. This last death knocked me back down to level 5. Looking over my character sheet I can’t help but sigh again at the loss of the skill points and stats I’d gotten when I got to level 6.

  Anthony Tinoco

  Level 5

  Unspent stat points: 0

  Unspent skill points: 40

  Health 130

  Mana 220

  TP 200

  Strength 8

  Dexterity 12

  Constitution 9

  Intelligence 18

  Wisdom 16

  Charisma 9

  While the loss of XP is horrible, it’s a wakeup call that the challenge level of the dungeon has gotten too much for me and outpaced my level growth.

  Between the recent death, the pile of unsellable loot, and the stack of credits I haven’t figured out how to convert to dollars, I decide it’s time to call up Lillian and see if she can help me out.

  Chapter 18

  Returning home via the portal, I change into some jeans and a t-shirt, then sell off my latest haul of stackable junk in the System Store.

  Blue Balls (8) x 1 = 8 credits

  Goombie Shoes (6) x 2 = 12 credits

  Goblin Horns (2) x 3 = 6 credits

  The 26 credits are added to my inventory, and I now have a total of 324 credits. Walking over to my closet door, I add another steel sword to the growing pile of loot that I’m storing there.

  Steel Long Sword (3)

  Long Bow (5)

  Halberd (3)

  Steel Short Sword (4)

  Leather Armor Set (3)

  I stare at the pile of weapons and armor and wish I could sell it all off. My mom came in to clean my room the other day and discovered it all. I had to make up a story about joining a LARPing group at school. Then I had to explain to her what LARPing was. Yes, I know they usually use foam weapons for their live-action role-playing games, but my mom doesn’t know that. My mom was just glad that I was making new friends and that I wasn’t becoming an arms dealer. I’m just glad I kept the laser pistol in my
inventory. She’d have freaked out seeing a gun in my room.

  After storing the item and closing the closet, I sit on my bed and check out my Character Sheet. A week ago, I figured out how to see exactly how much more experience I need to get to my next level. The Idiot’s Guide to the System, Vol. 1 has experience requirements.

  Player XP requirements to Level

  11

  2100

  3200

  4400

  5800

  61600

  73200

  86400

  912800

  1025600

  Additionally, if I focus on my level in the Character Sheet section, a small blue window pops up telling me how many experience points I need till my next level.

  Experience Points needed to level 6: 225

  I sigh at the loss of experience points from my last death, get up, and head into the kitchen to call Lillian. I’ve kept her card in my wallet since we first met, knowing that I might need to call her for assistance at some point. I dial her on the phone in the kitchen. While the phone rings, I recall that I have to deposit my check from work at the bank and I still need to purchase a new cellphone. Maybe I’ll get the new iPhone 32.

  My mind is still contemplating whether I should get an Apple device or an Android phone when Lillian answers the phone. I can’t help but say the first thing that pops into my head, “What do you think is better, Android or Apple?”

  “Anthony?”

  “Yeah, it’s me. I wanted to get a new phone with my dungeon clearing earnings but can’t decide whether to get a new iPhone or some Android device.”

  “Is that why you called me?”

  “Well, no. But since I have you on the line, I figured it couldn’t hurt to ask.”

  “Hmmm, well I have a policy never to discuss religion, politics, or enter into the Apple versus Android debate until at least the third date. So, I’m afraid I can’t help you decide. Was there another reason you called?”

  Is it me, or did I detect a slight note of hope in her voice?

  “Well, you told me to call you if I had any questions about the dungeons or the System. I’m stuck. I have a bunch of loot I can’t sell at the System Store, and I also have a bunch of credits I’d like to change into dollars, but I don’t know how. It’s not exactly something I can Google.”

  There’s a moment of silence, “So you found a dungeon and have been going inside?”

  “Uh, yeah. I happened to come across one in the area and thought I’d check it out and happen to pick up some stuff I can’t sell at the System Store in my bedroom.”

  I hear a snort and small giggle, “You made your home base your bedroom?”

  “Yeah. Is there something wrong with that?”

  There’s a definite note of amusement in her voice as she answers. “No, it’s just not something most people do. Your home base is where you plan for dungeon diving, setup crafting stations, trade stations, research stations. It’s usually more of a place of business.” She stifles another laugh, “I mean, it’s hard to plan a twelve-man dungeon dive if everyone has to sit on your bed and try not to touch the crusty socks you have laying around.”

  “Oh, I didn’t know all that. See, this is why I’m calling you. I need your feminine wisdom.”

  “Ok, you don’t have to butter me up. Use the port system to link up to my home base, and we’ll talk about all this in person.”

  “The what?”

  “The port system. Haven’t you been reading the guidebook I gave you?”

  “Well, I read the parts I needed and sort of skimmed through the rest.”

  “Oh god. You’re such a newb. Just read the part of the port system and use the business card I gave you to establish a link with my home base. Then you can come over, and we can talk in person.”

  We say our goodbyes, and I hang up the phone. Back in my room, I pull out The Idiot’s Guide to the System, Vol. 1 and look up the port system.

  Port System

  Do you want to travel to faraway lands but hate waiting in those long lines at the airport? Well, now you can travel instantaneously using the Port System. For a measly 100 credits per link, you can establish a connection to another place on earth and teleport there. The best part? Once the connection is established, you can travel there as often as you like.

  To set the connection with a typical real-world location, you just have the spatial and temporal coordinates of that place. This information can be found using the Mapping skill. Establishing a connection, a home base or other System location requires special data. Users often share this data through handheld devices or unique business cards embedded with the needed data.

  Additionally, linking with a User’s home base or System business requires permission from the owner of that System property that will be requested when trying to establish the connection. Even if permission is granted, it can be revoked at any time. So, you don’t have to worry about your ‘ex’ porting into your home base while you’re not there.

  Unfortunately, because of their temporary nature and the danger associated with them, you will not be able to establish a direct connection to a dungeon.

  To establish a link to another location, you must enable the port system in your home base settings, then access the port system by thinking or saying “Port System.” Then choose the option Establish Port Link and follow the directions given by the System.

  I put the guidebook down and pull up my home base settings. I scroll through the blue screen that pops up until I find the option for the port system. I enable it and close the window. Then I call out, “Port System” and another blue window appears in midair.

  Welcome to the Port System.

  Establish Port Link

  Travel to established link location

  I tap the option to establish a link and the text in the blue screen changes.

  Please enter the spatial and temporal coordinates of the location you wish to link to.

  A virtual keyboard appears beneath the blue window. I’m not sure what to do since I don’t know the spatial or temporal coordinates for Lillian’s home base. Then I remember she said to use the business card she gave me and pull it out of my pocket. Looking for the card, I don’t see anything except the phone number I used to call her. However, the System seems to know what to do. When the card comes into contact with the virtual keyboard, a light envelops the card, and new text appears in the blue window.

  Coordinates detected, scanning…

  Coordinates found. Establishing link. Link requires permission from User. Requesting permission…

  Permission granted. Link established. 100 credits have been removed from your inventory.

  Would you like to travel to location: Monsters Squashers Inc.?

  Well, that’s a unique name to call your home base. Then again, I used to game under the handle CoolDude2020 when I was a kid, so I don’t have room to talk.

  I shrug and tell the System that I’d like to travel to that location. My bedroom door starts to glow, and I walk over to it.

  Turning the knob, I open the door and peek through to see that I’ve opened the door to Lillian’s office. The room looks different from the last time I was here, and I see her sitting on a couch facing the wall of windows that look out at the New York City skyline. Lillian turns her head at the sound of the door opening. When she sees me, she smiles and gives me a friendly wave. “Hey, Anthony. Come on in.”

  I walk through the door and notice the other changes in the room. The big intimidating desk is gone, replaced with more casual furnishings. In the center of the room are four overstuffed chairs, each with a small end table next to them. There are three long wooden tables along the right wall with piles of papers on two of them. On the one closest to me are mugs, bagels, fruit, doughnuts, a pot of strong-smelling coffee, and various condiments.

  My stomach grumbles and I remember that I haven’t had lunch yet.

  I turn towards the windows when I hear a small snort and see Lillia
n laughing into her hand, “If you’re that hungry, please help yourself to the food that’s there.”

  I’m slightly embarrassed that my stomach is growling, but I’m not one to turn down free food. I saunter over to the table of food, and while I’m piling fruits, doughnuts, and other treats onto a plate, I casually glanced over at the piles of papers. They’re mostly forms filled with numbers, expenses, sale receipts, and billing slips. There’s a few that have something to do with a national competition, but I can’t make out more than that.

  When I turn around, I almost run into Lillian who has snuck up closer than I’d thought she could. I see that she’s wearing tight faded blue jeans with a hole in the knee, a black shirt, and a light brown cardigan. Her blond hair is tied back, and she looks up at me with a bit of mischief in her eyes, “Notice anything interesting?”